White Teeth Teens
by geek-bait
Summary: Arnold has come back to Hillwood in time to start his Junior year in High School. Rhonda has declared that she MUST throw him a welcome home party. There's only one problem. The one person he wants to attend hasn't been seen or heard of by anyone in three years. Can Arnold find Helga Pataki? And can Arnold find out why he needs to see her?
1. Chapter 1

Arnold sighed as he took his first steps onto the grounds of Hillwood High School. Granted, all the other students in his year and felt the rush of going to high school for the first time two years ago. Still, it would be a nice change of pace from the jungle. His parents had decided it was time to move back to Hillwood when his grandma broke her hip while sliding down the stair bannister. Some things never changed. Then again, some things did. Abner had died a few years ago. Suzie and Oskar Kokoshka had gotten a divorce. Suzie was still living at the boarding house, but Oskar had been out on his own for nearly five years now. No one really knew where he was, or even really cared. Ernie Potts had moved out after he and Lola had gotten married. Mr. Hyunh still lived in the boarding house to help save up to start up his own restaurant. He wasn't sure what had changed with his classmates. He hadn't seen anyone since he'd gotten back to Hillwood. He had planned on surprising Gerald after he and his parents finished unpacking, but the process was taking much longer than they had anticipated. There was still work to be done, but at least most of it had been finished.

He readjusted his backpack before climbing up the steps. He was momentarily overwhelmed by the scene before him. It was utter chaos compared to PS 118. There were couples attached to each other by the mouth, fondling each other against the lockers, there were a few kids skateboarding down the hallway, expertly weaving through crowd. There were some familiar scenes as well. Girls greeted each other in a fit of squeals and hugs, some bookworms stepped through the halls with their faces half hidden by the tomes they poured through, bullies slammed smaller kids against the lockers in an attempt to be intimidating. He couldn't help but scan the halls for any familiar faces on his way to his first class. If he saw anyone he knew he didn't recognise them anymore and they didn't recognise him. He slipped into his first class and slid into a seat near the front of the room. He held his hands together and couldn't help but fidget uncomfortably.

It felt like it had been hours before the bell rang, but it was really only a few moments. His history teacher, a skinny and tall woman who couldn't have been much younger than his grandfather. It was almost hard to believe that she was still up and walking around, as it seemed like she was only being held together by her skin. She did roll call quickly and bluntly. Arnold was a bit disheartened to find that there were no familiar names in his class. Still, that didn't stop him from making a friend. Used to the process of elementary school, he was surprised when they were given homework on the first day. They were sorted into partners and his was the only person who didn't have someone to immediately attach themselves too. Arnold was surprised that she didn't have boys fighting each other to partner with her, as she was very pretty. She was far from oblivious to Arnold's confusion. As she pulled her desk next to his she jokingly said, "You act like you've never been to high school before." She slapped a blue notebook and a black pen onto her desk. She pushed her mass of unruly scarlet curls off of her freckled face.

Arnold swallowed a lump in his throat before admitting, "I...I haven't been to high school before." The redhead froze in the process of opening her notebook and looked up at him skeptically. Arnold shrugged, "I've been home schooled since the sixth grade."

The girl cracked an amused smile, "Shut the fuck up!" She said, a bit too loudly. The teacher sharply scolded his partner for her language and she pursed her lips to keep back a laugh, "I'm Emy. Do you have anyone to show you around?"

Arnold shook his head, "No, but I expect they'll call me into the office and I'll meet someone there."

Emy laughed at his suggestion, "Oh sweetie they don't actually do that. That's just some bullshit you see in movies. And I would know. This is my fourth high school. I'm hoping it's my last. It sucks being an army brat, but give me your locker number and I'll meet you there at lunch and show you the hell hole."

Not being one to curse very often, if at all, Arnold was a little wary of Emy's mouth, but he was glad to have a friend.

Arnold's second class was nothing like the first. He thought it would be almost the same as the first, but it wasn't at all. For starters, his teacher was a man, a bit older, but he didn't seem as harsh as his history teacher. Also, he was prepared for receiving homework on the first day. What he wasn't prepared for was roll call. There were two familiar names. First came Heyerdahl, Phoebe. Arnold craned his neck to get a good look at her. Her hair was long and silky, tied up in a ponytail. Black sleek frames perched upon her nose and she still looked as eager for class to start as ever. What took him even more aback was when Johansson, Gerald was called. "Over here, teach." Gerald spoke up from the other side of the room. Arnold wasn't surprised to find that Gerald looked just as suave and cool as ever. His tower of hair was gone, replaced by a shorter and neater cut and he was some sort of varsity jacket. When Arnold's name was called he almost didn't notice it and he hurriedly announced that he was present. Gerald and Phoebe had either hadn't noticed or they were concealing that they'd noticed. Once the teacher was done with roll call he introduced himself and gave all the students a very warm and familiar welcome to class. It wasn't until Arnold noted the name on the board that he realised that it was Mr. Simmons! He hadn't expected to encounter his fourth and fifth grade teacher in his eleventh year at school, but he was happy for the small familiarity. Now that he realised it was his old teacher he almost felt stupid for not realising it before. Mr. Simmons gave them an assignment which was brief compared to the reading and worksheets Mrs. Collins had given to them.

He was gathering his belongings and about to head to his locker to meet Emy when someone tapped on his shoulder. He turned around and found Gerald looking at him sternly with his arms crossed over his chest, "You couldn't pick up a phone or anything, man?"

Arnold smiled brightly, "I didn't know your number. Everything's all...cellular now."

Gerald frowned, realising that his friend had a point, "Well you still could have come over to my house or something!"

"If I didn't know any better I'd think you aren't happy to see me." Arnold stated, a hint of joking in his voice.

"Of course I'm happy to see you!" Gerald exclaimed, "I'm just surprised!"

"Hey Arnold." The boys turned around to see Phoebe, straightening her glasses as she clutched a book against her chest, smiling warmly.

Gerald frowned, "What, am I invisible or something?"

Phoebe's smile vanished and she glared at him before shortly saying, "Gerald." She turned back to Arnold and he smile returned, "It's great to see you again. I didn't even know you were back in town."

Arnold nodded, "Yeah, I got back about a week ago. It's been a bit hectic."

"I bet. I've got to be going. I tutor math during lunch, but I'll talk to you later."

Arnold bid her farewell and Gerald glared after her as she left. "Can you believe that bitch?" Gerald asked once Phoebe had left.

"I think she was just being friendly." Arnold stated, a bit befuddled by Gerald's behavior.

"Whatever." Gerald muttered, "You wanna meet up for lunch?"

"Uh...I already promised this girl I'd let her show me around. If you're ok with her hanging around then I'd love to." Arnold explained.

"Yeah that's cool. I have to go to my locker anyway. I'll meet you in the cafeteria."

Arnold and Gerald parted ways and he stumbled through the hall until he found his locker again, where Emy was already waiting. She showed him how to get to the cafeteria, which was a good thing because without her he never would have found it. After they got their food, if it was even possible to call it that, Arnold started scanning the tables for Gerald. When he found him, Emy became the confused one. As they approached she told Arnold, "This is the strangest thing I've seen. The Queen Bee is sitting with jocks and stoners and some of the nerds."

Unlike Emy, Arnold was thrilled. Somehow Gerald had gotten almost everyone from the old gang together. Everyone bombarded him with questions about when he had gotten back, why he had come back now, and other questions of the like. He felt guilty when Emy excused herself, feeling like a black sheep in the fold. Before the lunch hour was over, Rhonda had appointed herself with the task of throwing Arnold a 'Welcome Home' party. It wouldn't take place for almost a month, as the perfect party needed time for planning. He received dozens of slips of papers with his classmates' cell phone numbers on them, as he didn't have a phone to enter them in directly.

He compared schedules with everyone and was glad to see that Gerald and Harold were in his next class, Stinky was in his last class of the day, and all of his classes for the next day, save for one , would have a friendly face. As Gerald, Harold, and Arnold all entered the art room for their 'easy' credit, Arnold came to realise a few people who had been missing from their luncheon reunion. "What ever happened to Brainy?" Arnold asked as the trio settled atop their stools.

"He's in rehab." Gerald stated calmly, as if he had just told Arnold that Brainy had gone to the bathroom. "He overdosed on something, no one really knows what."

"That's terrible!" Arnold exclaimed.

Harold shrugged, "It happens."

"What about Curly?"

Gerald laughed, "Are you kidding? That phyco split after the eigth grade. Ran away from home and no one's seen him since."

"What about Helga?" Arnold questioned, saving the one he was most concerned for for the last.

"Her dad's business exploded, in the best possible way." Harold stated.

Gerald nodded, "Big Bob's Beepers became BBP Electronics. He went from just selling TVs and phones and shit to making TVs and phones and shit. Put Helga in some fancy-ass private school in seventh grade. We still saw her occasionally for about...six months, but then she cut herself off completely. She's probably a stuck up bitch now."

"She hasn't talked to anyone?" Arnold asked dubiously, "Not even Phoebe?"

"I don't give a shit about Phoebe!" Gerald snapped.

Harold rolled his eyes and Arnold almost flew off of his seat. He didn't know what Gerald's problem was with Phoebe, and he honestly didn't care. It wasn't his buisness and if Gerald wanted him to know he would tell him. Through the first half of his drawing class, all Arnold could really think about was the party Rhonda was going to throw for him. He was suddenly determined to have Helga attend, though he didn't know why. Or how.


	2. Chapter 2

"Assemblies are still a thing?" Arnold asked as he and Gerald walked into the autitorium, walking with the mob of students.

Gerald nodded, "They're still a thing and they still suck."

Arnold smirked as he slid into the first available seat in the row he and Gerald had been manhandled into.

"Hello Arnold." A girl covered in freckles with long auburn hair tied into a high pony tail greeted him with a smile.

Arnold smiled back, "Hi Lila. Aren't you performing or something?"

Lila giggled, "No, Arnold. Cheerleaders don't always perform at assemblies. You're thinking of pep ralllies."

"Which also suck unless you're on a team of some sort." Gerald piped up.

Lila giggled and shook her head. "Would you mind if we did some switching around?"

"Oh, yeah, sure." He stood up and backed up against the line of seats in front of them and let Lila slide past him. Gerald jumped up and moved into the seat next to Arnold. Lila settled into her new seat next to Gerald and laced her fingers around Gerald's before giving him a peck on the cheek. Gerald had been horrified about telling Arnold about his relationship with Lila, due to the insane crush he had had on her in the fourth grade. Arnold didn't care though. The more he got reaquainted with Lila the more he realised that she was a great girl, but far from his type. She was so sweet that it was almost unbearable. He wasn't sure how Gerald could handle it, but they seemed happy so Arnold didn't bother with prying.

Lila and Gerald were about to start shoving their tongues down each others throats when the auditorium finally began to dim and the stage was illuminated. There was scattered applause when Phoebe stepped up to the podium to begin her announcements. Gerald couldn't even hear her speak without groaning and rolling his eyes, which didn't help Lila any. She seemed eager to lock lips with her boyfriend again, but he wouldn't do it do the the rage he was in.

Now there was something else about high school that he didn't understand. He had a lot of classes with Phoebe and he'd always found her to be a delight. She was actually his partner in his English project. It was unsettling how much of a fit Gerald had pitched when he learned that Arnold and Phoebe were going to be working together. The only thing he had to say was that Arnold needed to be wary because 'underneath that Junior Class President nerd exterior lies the cold dead heart of Satan'. Phoebe wasn't oblivious to Gerald's feelings, but she never acted as immaturely about her own disliking for him. Whenever she and Arnold spent time together she was always delightful. There was a part of Arnold that wanted to help Gerald and Phoebe make amends for whatever had driven such a barbed wedge between them.

"Hey loser." Arnold glanced up as a familiar voice caught his attention. He gave Emy a brief smile as she slid into the seat next to his. "Is your boyfriend having a total spaz attack because of our class president?" Her voice was dripping with sarcasma as she smirked and offered him a stick of gum.

Arnold accepted the gum and nodded. He made sure Gerald wasn't paying attention as he leaned towards Emy and asked, "Do you have any idea what happened between those two? They used to be really good friends."

"No one knows." Emy answered, making a playful spooky noise with her voice. "They had a falling out in freshmen year and no one knows why. At least that's what I've heard. I wasn't here back then, remember? You could always ask your boy."

Arnold frowned. He had considered that, but he was still getting reaquainted with Gerald. He wasn't sure if they were ready to go down that path just yet."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Hey Shortman." Arnold's grandpa called out from the passenger seat of the Packard. "How was school?"

Arnold smiled, sliding into the backseat and shutting the door behind him before saying, "It was alright. We had an assembly so I got out of class for a bit."

"That's fun." Arnold's father said from behind the wheel as they peeled out from Hillwood High's parkinglot. "Was it a fun assembly, like a talent show?"

Arnold shook his head, "No, it was pretty boring. Just reviewing safety regulations. The principal did go off for almost ten minutes about how horrible it was that someone had lined the flagpole with underpants over the weekend."

Steely Phil started wheezing with laughter, doubled over and slapping his knee, "Oh whoever did that should have gotten a medal, not a scolding."

Arnold laughed lightly. He missed his grandpa while he was in the jungle. He was just glad that time hadn't changed old Steely Phil.

"Well if it was you I'm glad you're having fun, and even more glad you didn't get-" Mile was unable to finish his sentence, as he had rammed the Packard into the back of a new fancy car that Arnold didn't know the name of.

Before getting out of the car Miles quickly made sure that everyone was alright. "Son, dad, are you hurt?"

"I'm not hurt, but my poor Packard is!" Steely Phil exclaimed tearfully and dramatically.

Before anyone in the Packard could get out to assess the damage of the other car the was a BANG of a door slamming shut, followed by the outraged cry, "Mother fucker!" Arnold perked up and fumbled to get out of the seat at the familiar voice. "LOOK AT MY LEXUS!" the brawny man shouted, his face turning red as he shook his fist in the air.

Had they not just been in an accident Arnold would have laughed at the familiar scene, but an angry Big Bob Pataki was no laughing matter. The passenger door swung open and for a second Arnold's heart stopped in his chest. If Helga stepped out of the front seat he would have been unable to keep himself from laughing. However, his spirits faltered when an older blonde girl jumped out of the car, stray sheets of papers tucked under her arm. Arnold could only watch in confusion as she jogged to the packard. "Is everyone alright?" she asked, tucking a strand of golden hair behind her ear as she bent over to look through Steely Phil's open window. She gasped when she noticed that Arnold's grandfather was crying. "Oh my goodness you're hurt!" She exclaimed regretfully.

"Me?" Phil asked, wiping his eyes, "Young lady, I'm fine. It's my poor Packard who's hurt!" With a sigh, Phil's hands fell into his lap and he somberly said, "This car was all I had left in the world since I lost Hedy Lamarr."

"Grandpa, what about grandma?"Arnold asked.

"Oh that's right!" Phil suddenly perked up.

The girl blinked slowly at the scene before saying "Alright then...so no one's hurt?"

Miles shook his head, "We're fine, thank you. I think I'd better talk to the other driver though."

The young woman looked at the man she was with, who was still in a rage over the fender bender. "Perhaps you'd better let me talk to him."

Miles watched the other man's tantrum for a few seconds before agreeing, "Be my guest."

The girl straightened the papers under her arms before approaching the raging Bob Pataki. "Daddy, calm down. We don't want another trip to the emergency room."

"All I wanted was to pick the girl up peacefully!" Bob exploded.

"Daddy," Olga chided, "'The Girl' has a name. Besides, I'm sure that Helga can get a ride no problem."

"This never would have happened if that mechanic hadn't double crossed me." Bob brooded, glaring at his dented bumper.

Olga sighed and rolled her eyes, "Daddy, Helga's car battery died. No one double crossed you. I mean the car is almost as old as she is, silly. It's bound to have a problem pop up at one point or another."

Now, usually Arnold was opposed to eavesdropping, but he found himself unable to resist. Before he knew it, he was approaching the pair of Patakis. Once he reached them he cleared his throat and said, "Excuse me?" When Bob and Olga turned to face him all of his words left him. He swallowed a few times before he was finally able to say, "I'm sorry to have listened in on you...but when you said Helga, did you mean Helga Pataki?"

**Hey again everyone. Don't forget to leave me a review. I'll love you forever. Also, if you follow my other stories and are anxious for me to update one/any/all of those leave me a word in the doobly doo or send me a PM. Oh! Was anyone expecting Gerald to be dating Lila? Anyway, yeah, review time. GO!**


	3. Chapter 3

"Why the hell is she here?" Gerald asked for the third time.

From Arnold's left, Phoebe rolled her eyes, "Your level of maturity is outstanding." Phoebe replied with a cold tone in her voice.

Arnold sighed from between them. He really wanted to tell Gerald off, as he had invited himself, unlike Phoebe who he had actually invited. Still, he kept his thoughts to himself. He couldn't really blame Gerald for being curious. Still, that didn't give him any right to be rude.

"Why couldn't you have driven us, Gerald?" Phoebe taunted as the trio turned another corner.

Gerald glared at the class president. For a while Arnold was certain that Gerald was going to jump around him to attack Phoebe. Finally, Gerald coldly answered, "My mom's car broke down so I'm walking for the week."

Phoebe couldn't help but chuckle, "Well you'd better hope that Lila hasn't left any panties in your backseat. I'd hate for your mother to be torn from the illusion that her son is responsible when it comes sex."

"Well we'd better hope that your parents don't find out anything in particular about you." Gerald threatened.

Phoebe rolled her eyes, "My parents already know about all my mistakes. You can't blackmail me, Gerald."

"We can't be on the right street." Gerald stated, eager to get off the subject.

Happy to be off of the subject of panties, sex, and blackmail, Arnold looked down at the slip of paper Olga Pataki had given him with the Pataki's current address upon it. "It's the right road. Why wouldn't it be?"

"It's just a ritzy area." Phoebe answered. "Gerald, you've been to BBP before. The Patakis living on Belvaire Avenue shouldn't come as such a surprise to you."

"Have you seen the houses on this road?" Gerald questioned.

Phoebe rolled her eyes, "I know that you didn't know the Patakis nearly as well as I did, but if there's anything I knew about Bob Pataki, it was that he was a brilliant businessman. And the business just got better after Mrs. Pataki went on as her husband's business partner. I don't find it surprising at all that they'd be this well off."

Arnold really underestimated how well off Gerald and Phoebe were implying that the Patakis had become until they were standing in front of their house. Arnold had to crane his neck just to see the top of the four-story building. There was a tall iron gate keeping them on the sidewalk, but not blocking the veiw of the house. Gerald, Arnold, and Phoebe glanced at each other before Arnold cautiously reached out for the speaker box by the gate.

"_Do you have an appointment?" _a gruff and callous voice demanded.

Arnold swallowed a lump in his throat before nervously answering, "Um...yes. Olga Pataki told me to come here at-"

"_Name?" _The voice snapped before Arnold could finish.

"Um, Arnold Shortman." Arnold answered nervously.

"_Proceed." _was the last thing the man said before the gate swung open, following a loud buzz.

Arnold glanced at his friends once more before they started up the hill. They were surprised to find a circular driveway with half a dozen cars. Were they all nice cars, Arnold would have assumed that they belonged to Big Bob, but more than half of them were clunkers. The trio walked past the driveway and to the door, which was about eight feet tall and hand carved from gorgeous mahogany. Phoebe rang the doorbell and they waited. Almost a moment passed before Phoebe decided to ring the bell again.

After the third ring, the door was finally answered. "No one else is here. What do you want?"

Arnold, Gerald, and Phoebe stared at the girl who had answered the door with their eyes wide and their jaws slack. This couldn't have been Helga. Her hair was blonde and her words were a bit short, but Helga had never given anyone the impression that in her spare time she'd wear Victorian style gowns with her hair done in curls. When neither of them answered, the girl snapped, "_What_ are you staring at?"

There was a low growl at the girl's feet and Gerald, Arnold, and Phoebe both looked down to see what was growling at them. Expecting a dog, Gerald and Arnold both shouted in surprise and jolted backward at the sight of a giant lizard. Arnold was too surprised to realise that it was the same lizard that had eaten his parrot in the fourth grade. Phoebe on the otherhand, laughed and knelt down, extending her hand to let the reptile sniff her. "Hey Demonicus. Do you remember me?"

The lizard's tongue flicked out of its mouth before gently touching his nose against the girl's hand and turning to wander back into the house.

The blonde gave Phoebe an odd look before she finally said, "Phoebe?"

Phoebe smiled shortly, "Hey Helga."

Even Phoebe was taken off guard when Helga squealed excitedly and pulled the other girl into a bone crushing embrace. "Oh my god! I haven't seen you in years! How are you?" When Helga pulled back she was beaming.

Her smile instantly vanished when a voice from inside yelled for her. "ONE MINUTE!" She screamed back. She sighed and shook her head before turning back to Phoebe. "Sorry, you caught me at a bad time. Dress rehearsal."

"Dress rehearsal?" Phoebe echoed.

Helga nodded, "Yeah, the choir kids reserved the stage before we could and we needed to rehearse today because it's the only day we were all available before the weekend."

"What the hell are you supposed to be?" Gerald deadpanned.

Helga squinted at him, still not recognising Phoebe's companions. "Mina from Dracula the Musical."

"There's a musical about Dracula?" Arnold asked.

"Yes!" Helga answered, unable to hide the excitement in her voice. "It's so much fun. Anyway, I should be busy for about half an hour, but feel free to wander the house until then. Just don't take anything and stay on the first floor." She stood aside to let them in. Once Arnold, Gerald, and Phoebe were inside the sound of singing arose from below. "I have to go." Helga said frantically before picking up her skirt, revealing that she was wearing a pair of cut off leggings beneath the massive gown and hadn't graced her feet with the presence of shoes. She sprinted down the stairs at the end of the foyer, leaving Gerald, Arnold, and Phoebe in the doorway, looking confused.

"Do you think she recognised us?" Gerald asked Arnold.

Arnold shook his head, "Probably not. She didn't do anything to suggest she did."

"Whoever Helga is doing this play with, they aren't bad." Phoebe thought aloud, paying more attention to the music echoing from the basement.

Arnold listened in on the singers. He didn't know the song, but would later learn that it was called Deep In The Darkest Night. "They are pretty good."

"Should we go and take a peek?" Gerald recommended.

"No!" Arnold and Phoebe snapped in unison. "Helga told us to stay on the first floor." Arnold finished.

Gerald rolled his eyes. "Whatever."

The three split off to explore the first floor of Helga's house. Gerald made himself comfortable in the kitchen, filling up on snacks. Phoebe had found her way to the backyardand spent most of her time exploring the garden. She couldn't help but laugh when she discovered that Bob Pataki still had a yurt in the yard. Arnold, however, spent most of his time exploring a room he couldn't really put a name to. There were pictures all over the walls, some of people he didn't even recognise, others of the Pataki family he knew. Olga accepting her diploma as valedictorian of Bennington College. Bob and Miriam riding horses in some canyon, looking happier than he had ever seen them together. The photos of Helga were the ones he was most interested in though. There were some photos of Helga that he could only describe as galmor shots. It made it easy to believe that for a while when they were kids she was a model. There was one photo that really caught his eye. He had a copy of the photo himself. It was the photo Mr. Simmons had insisted be taken of all the class in San Lorenzo before everyone went back home. Everyone but him, anyway. Rhonda was pushing Curly off of her, screaming. Nadine held up one of the man jars full of bugs she had collected. Stinky and Sid were playing a prank on Harold. Sheena was trying to help Eugene up after he fell down. Phoebe and Gerald were flirting shameless, which only reminded him of how strange it was that they hated each other so much. He and Helga stood in the center. It was the first picture he had ever seen of Helga where she was smiling rather than scowling. He wasn't oblivious to the fact that he had been holding her hand when the picture was taken.

"I was a pretty ugly kid, wasn't I?" Arnold shouted in surprise and almost dropped the frame in his hand. Helga chuckled as she tied her hair up into a ponytail. Her extravagant gown had been replaced by black leggings and a white tank top. "You must have been pretty out of it if you didn't hear everyone leave."

He swallowed a lump in his throat. "I-I don't think you were an ugly kid."

She smirked and shook her head, "You don't have to lie."

"I'm not lying." Arnold declared, setting the frame down.

She rolled her eyes, "Alright, whatever you say. How do you know Phoebe?"

Arnold blinked. Did she really not recognise him? Or had she forgotten him? "I've known Phoebe since preschool." Arnold answered at last. "I've known you since preschool too."

Helga looked at him warily, raising a water bottle to her lips to take a sip, "Are you sure about that?" She asked before taking a drink.

"Yes, I'm sure." Arnold answered, his tone growing impatient. "You used to call me football head."

In an instant, Arnold was showered in the water that Helga HAD been drinking. She choked and coughed, ramming herself in the chest with her fist. Arnold was about to start hitting her on the back when she finished coughing. "Arnold?" she asked when she was finally able to speak again.

Arnold smiled, "Nice to see you remember me."

Helga didn't embrace him like she embraced Phoebe. Part of her wanted to. She'd become much more comfortable with hugging people she liked. She blamed that on dance classes and her growing experience with musical theatre. Still, she was too shocked to do much more than sputter for a few moments. "I didn't even know you were back in Hillwood." she finally managed to say.

Arnold shrugged, "My mom and dad decided to come back after grandma broke her hip."

"Gerdie broke her hip AND you came back from San Lorenzo?" Helga exclaimed, outrage growing in her voice. "And nobody told me?"

Arnold blinked, "Who would have told you?"

"Well Susie, for starters." Helga answered shortly.

"You know Susie?" Arnold asked, only growing more confused.

"Doi, Arnold. She and my mom are only best friends."

Arnold couldn't help the fit of laughter that followed. He doubled over clutching his stomach, hardly able to breathe. It was such a relief to know that Helga hadn't changed completely since he'd been gone. "It's not funny!" Helga shouted.

"I know! I know!" Arnold chuckled, putting his hands up defensively.

Helga growled before storming out of the room. "Helga! Come back!" Arnold shouted, starting after her. She was already gone, yanking Gerald out of the kitchen, his mouth still full.

"Hey!" Gerald swallowed his mouthful before continuing, "I was eating."

Helga reached under the sofa Gerald was about to lean under and pulled out the monitor lizard that the boys hadn't even noticed was there, "Yeah, well no Demon is going to be eating. PHOEBE!" Helga stormed back into the kitchen and sat her pet down on the counter, where he proceeded to finish the last of Gerald's snack.

Phoebe heard Helga yelling and dashed for the door, peeking in from the garden, "Is something wrong, Helga?"

"Yeah there is, now let's go." Helga snapped.

"What the hell did you two do?" Phoebe snarled at Arnold and Gerald as they followed Helga through the front door.

"Don't look at me!" Gerald answered, throwing his hands up defensively.

"Get in the fucking car." Helga ordered as she unlocked a black jeep before climbing into the driver's seat. Phoebe got into the front and warily glanced at Arnold and Gerald as they pulled out of the driveway. Helga said nothing, which only made them more frightened.

"Um...Helga...where are we going?" Phoebe asked as they watched the gate open for them.

"Sunset Arms boarding house." Helga answered before she slammed her foot on the gas, peeling out of her driveway and onto the road.

**Bom bom bom! Review my pretties!**


	4. Chapter 4

At one point in Arnold's life, he had decided that there could never be a person behind the wheel of a car half as horrifying as his grandma. That was before he saw an angry Helga Pataki behind the wheel. Even Gerald looked scared out of his wits. Gerald who hadn't even batted an eye when Arnold almost sent them into the broad side of a building when he got behind the wheel of the Packard for the first time. The only one who dared to try and calm Helga down was Phoebe, and she was only met with an irritated growl.

Gerald tapped something out on his phone before giving the device to Arnold. Despite everyone's efforts, Arnold still didn't have a cell phone, and he was in no hurry to get one.

What the hell did you do to the She-Devil?

Arnold frowned at the message. Mostly because Gerald had called Helga a She-Devil and, despite everything, Arnold never really saw her that way. However, the fact that he didn't know what he had done to upset her so much. Still, she had been fine before he spoke to her. The only logical explanation was that he had done something to anger her. Arnold wrote a message back to Gerald, a lot slower than his friend's had been. He had to stop half way through the message to grab onto something as Helga's jeep went flying over a speed bump, making everyone in the vehicle jolt up and down.

I don't know what happened.

Gerald was about to send a message back when they arrived at Sunset Arms. Unsure of what else to say, Arnold nervously said, "Uh, thanks for the ride, Helga."

"Shut up." She retorted as she unbuckled her seatbelt and made her way for the door.

Arnold, Gerald, and Phoebe just stared after her. "Um...Helga, what're you doing?" Phoebe asked as she unbuckled her seatbelt and started following the enraged Pataki.

Gerald and Arnold got out of the car and followed after Phoebe. They watched Helga climb the front steps of the boarding house and Gerald boredly informed her, "Pataki, that's breaking and entering."

Arnold shoved his hand into his pocket, groping about for "Just a second, I have a-"

Before Arnold could pull his key out, Helga had already inserted one of a few keys on her key ring and pushed the door open, leaving Arnold with his mouth gaping open.

"Why the hell does Pataki have a key to your house?" Gerald asked as he and Phoebe gathered beside Arnold as the bottom of his stoop.

Arnold shrugged, "I have no idea." No one had ever made any mention of Helga. Who would have given her a key?

"Maybe she stole it." Phoebe suggested, lowering her voice.

Gerald started laughing, "Phoebe, please, Helga isn't that crazy."

Phoebe rolled her eyes and had to keep herself from informing Gerald that he had no idea.

"She said that she knew Susie." Arnold stated thoughtfully. "Maybe she's going to pick a bone with her."

The sound of Helga screaming from inside the boarding house made the trio jolt backwards.

"I think you mean that hopefully she's going to pick a bone with Susie." Gerald corrected. "That way she isn't aiming to pick a bone with you."

"Maybe we should take a walk." Phoebe recommended. "We can come back when she's cooled down." Gerald and Arnold were both quick to agree and quickly headed for the park.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Their walk through Tina Park was quiet, and almost awkward. Arnold couldn't tell if it was a relief or an annoyance when they ran into Lila. She was still as sweet and kind as ever, but Arnold would have been happy to just have time to develop his thoughts.

Lila had just finished up practicing her tumbling in the park when she noticed her boyfriend and bounced over to them, wrapping her arms around one of Gerald's biceps. "I didn't know you were going to be here! I'm ever so excited to see you."

Gerald smiled, "Hey babe." he greeted her casually before kissing her shortly on the mouth. Arnold raised an eyebrow at the public display of affection and Phoebe's mouth twisted into a disgusted frown.

"Hello Arnold and Phoebe." Lila greeted them warmly once she'd gotten her hello kiss. With a grin, Lila said "Phoebe, I'm ever so glad that you and Gerald are getting along again."

Phoebe couldn't help having frowned at the perky redhead, "Don't get your hopes up, Lila. Gerald and I aren't getting along."

Lila's grin faltered, "Oh. Well I'm ever so sorry to hear that. So what have you three been up to?"

"Not a damn thing." Phoebe answered quickly.

Gerald rolled his eyes, "We went with Arnold to see Pataki."

Lila gasped, "Arnold, you found Helga?"

Arnold nodded and rubbed the back of his neck, "Yeah. Her temper hasn't changed much."

Lila cocked her head to the side, "What ever do you mean?"

"She's on a rampage at Sunset Arms." Gerald explained.

"She's in town?" Lila exclaimed, "Oh can we go see her?"

"Babe, you remember her temper, right?" Gerald asked warily.

Lila nodded, "Of course I do, but that isn't all I remember."

"You realise that Helga hated you, right?" Phoebe asked, making no effort to soften her words.

"I'm ever so certain that Helga and I were very good friends." Lila countered, "I'd really love to see her. That's if it's alright with you, Arnold."

Arnold gave Phoebe an apologetic glance before he informed Lila that he didn't mind if she came along.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Arnold and Gerald had repeatedly warned Lila that Helga was in a state of fury before they entered the boarding house. When they entered, rather than the screams of a furious Helga Pataki, they were greeted by Arnold's parents dancing with each other by the staircase to a tune Arnold didn't recognize. Stella noticed her son before Miles did. "Hey sweetie!" Stella exclaimed, pulling away from her husband to give her son a brief hug. "We were wondering where you went. Who's your new friend?"

She was referring to Lila, as she'd already met Phoebe and Gerald. Lila stepped forward with a smile, stretching her hand out, "I'm Lila Sawyer, Mrs. Shortman. It's ever so great to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too, Lila." Stella replied with a warm smile.

"Uh, Mrs. S, what's going on?" Gerald asked.

"We're dancing." Miles explained bluntly.

"I think Gerald was referring to the fact that when we left there was...a lot of screaming." Phoebe elaborated.

"Oh!" Stella exclaimed, "That was nothing. It hardly lasted a few moments, and the girl did have cause to be upset."

"Are you sure?" Arnold pressed, doubtful of his parents' words.

Stella nodded, "Yes. See, the girl is a friend of your grandma's."

"She's what?" Arnold, Phoebe, and Gerald asked in unison.

Stella nodded again, slowly this time, "Yes."

"She and mom hit it off a few years ago." Miles said.

"She was just upset because she found out that your grandma had broken her hip and no one told her because your grandmother is fine and the girl is so busy, at least according to Mr. Hyunh. He said that Susie was planning on telling her once she was done with her play."

"Kimba!" everyone perked up at the sound of Gerdie's voice. Despite being in a wheelchair, she was still as spry and energetic as ever. At least as much as she could be without bothering her hip.

"Hey grandma." Arnold replied, moving forward to meet his grandmother.

"You shouldn't have gone to see Eleanor." Gerdie gently chided her grandson, taking his hand in hers and patting his wrist.

"Huh?" was the only thing that Arnold had managed to say.

"If I knew you wanted to see her I would have told you to wait until Sunday. Her play is opening on Monday and the poor girl didn't need to know until just before she saw me." Gerdie continued, ignoring Arnold's confusion.

"Grandma, who is Eleanor?" Arnold asked.

Before Gerdie could answer, Arnold's attention was arrested by Mr. Hyunh strumming a song on his guitar from the hallway. Everyone stopped what they were doing to watch Mr. Hyunh. Then, in his smooth voice that had caught everyone off guard at one point, Mr. Hyunh sang, "Istanbul was Constantinople"

Before he could get to the next line of the song, Helga popped up from behind him and sang "Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople"

Then together they sang, "Been a long time gone, Constantinople, Now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night. Every gal in Constantinople lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople so if you've a date in Constantinople she'll be waiting in old New York was once New Amsterdam. Why they changed it I can't say."

Then Gerdie exclaimed, "People just liked it better that way"

Arnold was too flabbergasted to do anything but stare at the odd display. Helga didn't even seem to notice him. However, she looked more happy in that moment than she ever had while Arnold had known her. By the time she even noticed him the song was over. She swallowed a lump in her throat and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear before forcing a smile. "Hey Arnold. Where'd you sneak off to?" She crossed her arms over her chest and a teasing smile crossed her face, "You weren't afraid of me, were you?"

"Damn right we were afraid of you." Gerald piped up.

"Very manly." Helga replied dryly.

Lila bounced forward beside Arnold with a massive grin on her face, "Hello Helga. Do you remember me?"

Helga stared at Lila with a blank expression and blinked a few times before saying, "Nope, my mind's a blank."

"Helga, it's Lila." Arnold said once he noticed the hurt expression in Lila's eyes.

Helga glanced between Arnold and Lila a few times before it clicked. Or at least before she thought it clicked. Arnold and Lila were always so fond of each other in elementary school. In different ways, surely, but it seemed that Arnold's determination had paid off. Helga knew it was stupid to get upset over it, but she couldn't help it. "Oh. Hey Lila. Sorry, it's...been a while."

Lila smiled, "It's alright, Helga. I'm just ever so excited to see you."

Helga blinked and had to take a second to develop the fact that Lila still said the words 'ever so' just ever so often. "Yeah, Lila, it's great to see you too."

Their reunion was cut short by a rapid pounding on the door. Miles was already moving to answer the door when Helga checked her watch and had to keep herself from cursing under her breath. When Miles opened the door he was pushed aside by a young man in a rage. His eyes fell on Helga and he charged forward like a bull. He would have shoved Arnold and Lila out of his path had they not jumped aside in time. "What the hell is wrong with you, you stupid little bitch?"

Lila gasped dramatically, "That's just ever so mean!"

The stranger pushed his black hair out of his eyes before turning on Lila, "I wasn't talking to you."

"You don't have to call her names." Arnold growled defensively.

"I'LL CALL HER WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT!" the boy exploded.

"Young man, I think I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Stella snapped, stepping forward.

Helga waved her hand and shook her head, "No, it's ok Mrs. Shortman, it kind of serves me right."

"Helga, you shouldn't take this kind of abuse. Especially from you...special friend." Stella continued.

Helga and the boy both grew confused at the term 'special friend' and they looked at each other before they understood what Arnold's mom was trying to imply. "Are you saying I shouldn't take lip from my...boyfriend?"

Arnold crossed his arms over his chest, "He seems to be a real keeper."

Helga looked back at the boy and repeated the word, "Boyfriend."

The boy in turn cocked his head to the side and asked, "Boyfriend?"

Helga tried to keep a smile off her face as she altered her tone and confirmed, "Boyfriend."

After a few seconds of silence, Helga and the boy exploded with laughter, which just left everyone else confused. Finally, when Helga was able to speak again she exclaimed, "Really? You guys think he's my boyfriend."

"In your dreams." The boy chuckled.

Helga rolled her eyes, "Oh puh-lease! I don't date boys who are as gay as the fucking forth of July!" she retorted before she and the boy started laughing again.

"I'm ever so confused." Lila stated.

"You and everyone else." Phoebe muttered, watching the scene with her arms folded over her chest.

"He's her dance partner!" Gerdie exclaimed.

Helga and the boy nodded in unison, "We've been partnering since we were about eight."

"Eight?" Gerald repeated. "I don't remember Helga dancing at all."

"I've been in dance classes since I was four, Geraldo." Helga retorted.

"Really?" Arnold asked. "Why didn't you invite anyone to your dance recitals or anything?"

"I went to one of them." Phoebe said. "I think it was in fourth grade, just before summer started."

"Oh my god the one with the seahorses?" the boy asked.

Phoebe looked surprised before answering, "Yes, actually. How did you know about that?"

"Phoebe, he was in that." Helga answered.

"Do I know you?" Phoebe asked.

The boy shrugged, "I would probably say that you knew me, not know me."

"Huh?" Gerald perked up.

Helga glanced at the boy before smirking, "What was it that you did when we were kids?"

The boy fidgeted and glanced at the floor, "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Therapy has done you a lot of good." Helga pressed.

"Therapy has done _you_ a lot of good too!" He countered.

Finally, Helga rolled her eyes and said, "Poor, twisted little freak."

**Wow this was a long one. Anyway, here it is! Tah duh! **

**Before I forget, there have been two accounts (possibly one person) who has been stealing people's work and claiming it as their own. First of all, if this person (or these people) happen to be reading it then I'd like to inform you that you suck and there's a special place in Hell for people like you. Also, if you contact me again (yes, they've contacted me before) I swear to god I will rip your tongue out and then shove it down your throat so you choke on it and die. The accounts are ****Mosesz96mmv and Nopejope. Ignore their requests to read their work and I'd recommend reporting their comments if they spam your reviews. Stealing people's written work is a dick move so I feel like these accounts need to be eliminated. Spread the word if you know other people who write Hey Arnold! fics because it's ****_not_**** okay. **

**Anyway, please leave me a review and I'll love you forever. **


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